It’s the constant feeling that the ground beneath you is moving. That every moment of every day you can feel and see ‘workable’ time slipping away. The need to allocate as much energy as possible into making things happen. Decisive moves. Yes and Nos. Soundbites. A drive and hunger to ‘do more’. It’s being involved in things and wondering if it’s the best use of your time. A brain that never stops calculating the next move. Every moment you are thinking, wondering, searching, seeking, and hungry for more. The music I even choose is pumped up, energetic, driven, electrifying.
It sounds exhausting. It absolutely is. But it is more so exhilarating. Finishing the ‘next thing’ is a euphoria of emotions. A rush of feeling, “holy sh*t, it worked!”. I stand in the shower, sit in traffic, sip drinks at the bar, walk through TSA, and watch Netflix thinking and coming up with new ideas. Wondering if my idea from a month ago is still worth investing in. Does it need to be reshaped? Does it need to be merged with something else? Do I put it on the memory shelf and recycle it later on? Maybe it’s not for the ‘now’.
The now. It’s not a world I rarely get to live in. I’m not talking about Bran from Game of Thrones style. He unfortunately does not really get to build. He watches and observes the world from the past and the future. My obsession for always thinking in the future leaves me in a state of always creating, planning, and building. Once it is ready to go, I’m already working on the ‘next thing’.
Ideas can be large, all-encompassing, taking up every moment of every day. They can consume every breath I take. They can take over all my neurons and become the only thing I ‘can’ think about. I wake up in the night with my brain already firing on all cylinders. Almost like it needs me awake so it can have one hundred percent of my devoted attention to it.
They can also be tiny. People may never know I thought about it, was there, or even a part of it. Tiny seeds of my work that I hope grow into giant orchards that bear fruit for future generations.
The hustle is about something much deeper than just working every moment. It’s about being purposeful. It’s about delivering something that leaves a mark. It’s signing your name.